The yoga teacher misconception
Actualizado: 24 oct 2021
There is this idea around the air that if you’re one very specific thing, you simply can’t be the other.
So I literally teach people how to find inner peace for a living. It certainly doesn’t pay as much as it should but it is the one job I have found that makes me feel purposeful. Yoga saved my sanity and life 15 years ago when I had a terrible backache and a heartache as painful. It showed me how my body works and made me so appreciative of it. It taught me that everything is connected and to heal ourselves we need to first see the pain in the first place. Yoga led me to Asia which is now my home (at least in my heart) and it took me to the most incredible places both on the outside and within. I owe yoga a huge part of who I am today and that is why I teach it, I need to spread the message of union and love one movement and breath at a time.
But by no means even after all these years am I any illuminated, more peaceful or wiser than any other human being who has or has not practiced yoga. I’ve encounter SEVERAL people (including my therapist) who have told me over and over again that I more than anyone know exactly hoe to calm and regulate myself, I am the freaking teacher right? Well, let me tell you something: I am a human being. I feel absolutely everything and sometimes with rather intensity. I am a human and I get mad bordering on pissed off, I scream, I cry and I lose control of my body and emotions quite often. I am living this life too. There is no secret to yoga and meditation I haven’t shared yet with my students. Yoga, like anything In life, is constant work. It doesn’t end, there is no earthly nirvana. And guess what, I have human experiences that involve suffering, ache, disappointment, frustration, regret, resentment and much more. I am not a perfectly regulated or controlled being because I am a yogi, actually I would say I am on the bendier side of yogis. And that is why it is so important for me to teach this discipline, because I am the example that: nobody has it all under control. Not even the person who seems peaceful, calm and wise, even they have big feelings, moments of confusion and despair. We are all living this wild and crazy human experience.
I used to be ashamed of my feelings because I started to identify with my job description and one day I decided I wouldn’t punish myself for feeling everything but I would make it my superpower. I would bring myself fully to every single class I taught, to every encounter I ever had, this is the real me, yoga is a real thing a beautiful endevour and so am I, beautiful and imperfect and ever changing, like my practice there is no two same days.
Everything is constantly moving, changing and evolving and I just go into the uncertainty of the unknown with an open heart and fucking ready to feel e-v-e-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g even the stuff your students and friends who think you have it all under control would feel uncomfortable about, that too.
I amo not here to make people comfortable with my silence, omission or secrets. I am here to show them that even I can find peace of mind every once in a while one breathe and one movement at a time. I am here to show up exactly as I am because this is the realest reality can ever get. I am flawed, I am explosive and I am also peace and love and resilience. I am everything and I will become new things as the energy of time flows.
Yes, I also forget how to breathe when I am having a panic attack, I have to go back to my deeper knowing and calm myself down just like we all humans do. No, I am not in control, I am human I am improvising life as I go. I don’t have the answers but a shitload of questions. This is the way. I am here trying to breathe all of it in, let’s hold some space to be weird and imperfect and feel everything together.
Yoga means union, the union of every single dimension of who we are coming together. That’s the beautiful gift we get to share the world our most unique and imperfect self, and that my friends is a gift worth giving.