Actualizado: oct 26
I was shocked after my 11 th time watching Moana (watch out for full-on spoilers) when I realized her mom helps her to leave the island and go after Maui and Teka and to a clearly dangerous journey. Her own mother?! Helps her child sail onto probable death?! The woman who birthed her and was supposed to protect her and take care of her, lets her go into the d-ucking ocean by herself into a very similar situation that had previously nearly killed her own husband... I was genuinely (once again) offended by Disney.
And then by the 23 rd time of watching what happened, I realized something: Moana, was exactly who she was, she had this life long purpose and dream and kept pursuing it with fierceness, and her own mother (specially her) could never be able to stop her beingness, her daughter's true calling; her mom realized Moana was meant for this journey and with no hesitation she chose to TRUST her daughter's determination, even if that meant letting her go and helping her to embark on the most uncertain and dangerous adventure a mom can ever allow their child to be in (which when I come to think about is basically anything your child will do without your help).
Her love and trust for her daughter was bigger than her fear or false idea of control. Moana's mother, my friends, has all my admiration this time around.
It reminded me of a story I know about a girl who wanted to study abroad and her mom wouldn’t let her, the mother's excuse was that she was terrified of her daughter's behavior at that age. Of her personality, actions and overall being. She assumed her daughter would self destruct if away from her care. She shut the door of an opportunity out of fear. The girl didn't get to study abroad, and although her life didn't end there and turned out pretty good and blessed and accomplished, I do wonder if the mother wonders what could've happened if she had let her go, of how incredibly different things would have been and if her daughter would've amounted to more, not because of the trip abroad, but because she had her mother's trust. I wonder what would've happened if the mom would've reacted from love and trust rather than from fear and control.
One day my own daughter will present me with the biggest challenge of my life, which will be to let her choose her own path inspite of me, my expectations, my role in her life and my fears: she'll ask me to just trust her; trust that we've come this far, that my work is done yet not erased, that now she gets to take all that she knows thus far and make it her own. I will be asked to trust her wisdom before my own and I sure hope I am up to the task.
I hope, like Moana's mom, that I can help her pack a few things she might need along the journey and hope she reaches her destination safely and finds life's wonders on her own, I hope she knows my love is always present and alongside her, I hope she knows I'll always be here.
One day I will no longer be my daughter's home because she will find her own, in her body and mind and soul, and the love and grace and peace of how we both arrive into that moment, is quite possibly, my life's biggest challenge.