This year has been by far one of the most challenging years of my life. It has tested everything in me and I have miraculously survived one of the most intense, heart breaking and difficult moments of my life and ironically it has been surrounded by beautiful blessings too. We are all living in challenging times, our normalcy has completely shifted and Mother Nature has been teaching us the big lessons the hard way.
I’ve made space and taken some time to reflect on the hardship and softness of this year, on the amazing opportunity I’ve finally given myself to feel, and to remember, and to know, and to forgive. This year I have had the biggest realizations regarding my past and the people who have been a part of my life for the better part of 33 years. I took the chance to go back to some dark places in my memory. This year I have done nothing but pay attention, I have opened my eyes to every single thing that’s happening around me and inside of me. This year I became aware of so much. I am more connected to mi intuition than ever before and I now am certain of the fact that my body feels and tells me who or what to stay close to and away from.
I have been using this words to refer to this time of my life: LET IT BURN.
I no longer want to shut up and smile, please or be nice I no longer want to feel like people step on me. I no longer want to be the good daughter, wife, mother or woman for that matter, I don’t have the time or patience to be what everyone else expects or wants me to be so I decided this year I would be myself unapologetically and let the rest BURN.
I have found that this is the only way to move forward. This is my super power: being fully myself even if it makes others uncomfortable, specially if it makes them uncomfortable. I have decided to stop seeking for approval and start accepting myself as I am, and it has made me feel more powerful than ever before. It has made me a super woman and specially a super mom. I have done the work I needed to do this year, to be the mother I can be.
This year I had to build up walls because it was the only way I could feel safe and could protect my family, and now I understand that in building those walls to protect us, I was being the architect of my life and of the home I want to live in. I am home.
There is so much work to be done but also so much life to live. I am embarking on a whole new adventure called forgiving and turning towards living a beautiful life of heartache and of love intertwined.
Life has made me both rougher and tender this year and taught me over and over again where to focus my energy.
So I guess you could say 2021 was the year of paying attention, of setting boundaries and intentions that run deep within my bones. Of finding self confidence and safety. Holding myself and others accountable.
Paying attention to my trauma, to my health, to my fears and to my conditionings, is loving myself DEEPLY and fearlessly. I am mothering myself in ways I have never been modeled before and I am setting the bar high when it comes to mothering my own daughter.
I feel like 2021 for me, was an entire year of holding my breathe and of trying to hold everything together inside the madness and chaos of life, and now I know it’s time to let go, to breathe out and take a moment to honor and appreciate my strength, love and resilience.
Our word for 2022 will be trust.
I am ready to trust again; to trust in nature and the universe, to trust myself, my decisions, my intuition, my ability to see with clarity who the other is and to trust my connection to my god and my people. To trust that there are beautiful things even in chaos.
Congratulations! We conquered 2021, the weirdest year yet, and now we get to exhale and move along to the next.
Happy new fucking year.